In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
