I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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