I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Bring me that man meat
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
