So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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