I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
