this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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