What did we do last night that was yellow?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
