when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
