She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
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