Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So much rum. So many feels.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
