U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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