I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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