I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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