I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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