I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
