woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
