she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
