if i can run in heels then i can drive
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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