I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize