so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
