I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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