How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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