erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
