And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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