Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I party with great urgency now.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
