I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
