Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
