oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
