I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
