This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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