We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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