I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
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I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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