Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
