Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
