Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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