i jhust puked up my retainher.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
