What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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