There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Come see our sink grown plant.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
