I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
