i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
