I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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