stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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