In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
