Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
