yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
