3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
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He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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