the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
