It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
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Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
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Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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