you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
