Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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