She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The power of my boobs compel you
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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