Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
