I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
