I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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