Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
