apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind