I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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