I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
