I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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