like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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