Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
