I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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