The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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